Through The Grapevine

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California vintners in the Napa Valley, who primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an antidiuretic.  It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people will have to make to the bathroom during the night.



The new wine will be marketed as:



PINO MORE


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The Most Feared

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A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.

The bear said, “If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear.”

The Lion said, “If I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is shivering with fear.”

The chicken said,”Big deal. I only have to cough, and the entire planet is shivering with fear.”

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Mirror, mirror

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Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Do you have to tell it all?

Where do you get the glaring right
To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think I’m fine but I can see
you won’t co-operate with me;

The way you let the shadows play,
You’d think my hair was getting grey

What’s that, you say? A double chin?
No, that’s the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so,
You’ll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if you’re not hanging straight,
You’ll tell me next I’m gaining weight;

I’m really quite upset with you,
For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise…
O, look what’s happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we’re not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans,
You’ll find yourself in smithereens!!

(Author Unknown)

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